Hero Weirdos/transcript

Transcript
Episode Aired: May 12, 2001

Episode Copyrighted: 2000

This episode is rated TV-Y7.

Episode starts the Robloxians were pulled inside before the portal closed, the others entering.

Builderman: *worried* Oh no! He got the Robloxians!

Roblox: WE'RE DOOMED!! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!

Government #1: Nobody's gonna die. We'll get through this!

Government #2: But there's no way to get any of them out. Who knows what the spirit world is like and if either of them aren't already dead in there!?

Government #1: We just have to try harder or have someone convince Lori and Leni to kick their butts right!?

Government #3: *looks seriously* I think it has to do with how Dad's kicking butts. I'll go find him.

The governments darted from them. With the familiar male, she muttered and looked worried.

Lori Loud: Leni?

Leni Loud: Yes, Lori?

Lori Loud: I just don't get it. I did everything right. This is the government's fault.

Leni Loud: Sure, it is.

Slide transition to the Krusty Krab on a slow day. Squidward is just lazily watching TV and further adding on prices to the Krusty Krab Electricity Bill. Mr.Krabs sits at a nearby table just angrily watching his money be wasted on Squid’s Interpretative Dance Programs. Finally he blows.

Mr. Krabs: Oh just stop watching that stupid program of men in tights already!

Squidward Tentacles: Clam up Mr. Krabs! This is quality, top of the line, entertainment!

Mr. Krabs: Pfft yeah, for people who don’t have a life, like you.

Squidward Tentacles: What’s that supposed to mean?!

Mr. Krabs: You should recognize by now that ye will get nowhere in the arts and you're forever destined to be part of me crew counting change!

Squidward Tentacles: Oh is that so? You're the one to talk to, Eugene! Your money problem has gotten way out of hand! You have 61 Self Storages just to store piggy banks full of birthday money!

Mr. Krabs: 62!

Squidward Tentacles: Whatever!

Mr. Krabs: *gets up and begins heading for my office* You know what! I have had it Squidward! I am sick of you criticizing me for being a cheapskate! A little girl just came up to me the other day saying that she needs money for food. So being the good individual I am, I helped her not get robbed and for her to tell me that she does not need me money! Via Reverse Psychology!

Squidward Tentacles: Wow, that is really impressive, not.

Mr. Krabs: Don’t define your artwork Squidward.

Squidward Tentacles: You don’t know how the art process goes!

Mr. Krabs: And ye have no clue how to maintain money!

SpongeBob then pops out from the Kitchen window and comes up with a good idea.

SpongeBob Tentacles: I just got an idea! How about you two swap roles!

Squidward Tentacles: What?!

Mr. Krabs: Come again me boy?

Lincoln and Leni Loud: Hey guys.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey Lincoln and Leni, Mr. Krabs can come to Squidward’s house and see how awesome his life is!

Lincoln Loud: Cool, SpongeBob!

Leni Loud: Totes!

Squidward Tentacles: Were you three really serious about the awesome part?

SpongeBob SquarePants: And Squidward, you can go to Mr. Krabs’ house and do whatever can be done there!

Leni Loud: It's nice at Mr. Krabs' house!

Lincoln Loud: Yeah!

Mr. Krabs: Hmmm, well I could try and see what Squidward has to put up with.

Squidward Tentacles: I suppose I can try and see how much money Mr. Krabs stole from Goodwills.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Perfect! Let’s get going now!

Mr. Krabs: At closing time!

SpongeBob SquarePants: Closing time it is!

Lincoln Loud: Leni, let's go home!

Leni Loud: *smiles* Okay!

The scene cuts to 6 PM, it is closing time and the three characters exit the Krusty Krab. Mr.Krabs begins walking with SpongeBob to Squidward’s house while Squidward has been given Krabs’ boat keys to drive to the anchor.

Mr. Krabs: Something is telling me this is not going to go too swell.

Squidward Tentacles: Wait? Does Mr.Krabs have WiFi? Wait, he doesn’t pay his internet bills! Barnacles!

SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: *arrives at Squidward’s house*

Mr. Krabs: *tries to enter but the door doesn’t budge* What gives?!

SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward always likes to hide his key under his doormat!

Mr. Krabs: *lifts the doormat up and finds a key, then opens the door* Well see ye tomorrow me boy.

SpongeBob SquarePants: See ya Mr. K! *skips off home*

Time card reading "The Next Day"

French Narrator: The next day…

The six of them are hiking on a mountain.

Lincoln Loud: *with a walking stick* There is nothing like a good hike.

Leni Loud: Yeah it is, Lincoln.

The six reach a split path, one of the left and one of the right.

Lincoln Loud: I'll take right.

He and Leni go the right path.

Lana Loud: I'll take left.

She and Luan go the left path, they left Lucy alone.

Lucy Loud: I'm alone.

Yellow Rectangle: *grabs Lucy's hand* Lucy, I'm here! This isn't so bad after all!

On the left path, Lana and Luan walk on a rocky path full of trees.

Lana Loud: There are a lot of trees.

Luan Loud: What type of tree fits in your hand?

Lana Loud: I dunno, a palm tree?

Luan Loud: Yes!

Lana Loud: *facepalms*

On the right path, Lincoln and Leni walk on a grass path. Unfortunately, a thunderstorm occurs and the two run to a nearby cave, it's pitch back.

Lincoln Loud: Leni?

Leni Loud: Lincoln? Where are you?

Lincoln Loud: I'm here, Leni. I'll get a flashlight. *turns on my flashlight*

The two are grouped together, a bear is behind them, it roars.

Lincoln and Leni Loud: AHH!

The two screamed as they ran out the cave and the bear gave chase.

Lincoln Loud: Why didn't we go with Yellow, Luan, Lucy and Lana?!

Leni Loud: I don't know, Lincoln! Let's go to the Computer Core.

Lincoln Loud: Good idea!

Slide transition to Spider Computer Core Spaceship.

Lincoln and Leni Loud: *enters the Spider Computer Core Spaceship*

Lincoln Loud: Leni, here it is, there's gonna be around here somewhere.

Lincoln and Leni Loud: *sees Grandpa Master Lox*

Lincoln Loud: *angrily* Grandpa Master Lox!

Leni Loud: *angrily* Yeah, what are you doing here?!

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: I'm gonna destroy you two!

Lincoln Loud: *angrily* That's it, we're leaving, Grandpa Master Lox!

Lincoln and Leni Loud: *runs away*

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: *to The Giant Green Ooze Spider* Seize them!

The Giant Green Ooze Spider: *comes to Lincoln and Leni*

Lincoln and Leni Loud: SpongeBob, help!

The Giant Green Ooze Spider: *makes Green Ooze a hole in a wall, then makes a green sticky oozed spider web on Lincoln and Leni*

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: They're in a green sticky oozed spider web, minions. *evil laughs*

Lincoln and Leni Loud: *screams*

Screen cuts to SpongeBob.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Nooooooooooo! Lincoln and Leni are in trouble! What are we going to do?

Patrick Star: I'll tell you what we're going to do. We have to save them.

Yellow Rectangle: You're right, guys.

Time card reading "The Next Day"

French Narrator: The next day…

It shows the five of them are walking home.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Best. Camping Trip. Ever!

Lucy Loud: It is SpongeBob, it is.

Yellow Rectangle: I am glad Lola didn't come, she hates camping. She always hates it when mud gets on her dresses and poops in the woods.

Lana threw mud at SpongeBob's face, angering him.

SpongeBob SquarePants: LANA!

Lana Loud: C'mon, you don't like mud? You're starting to act like Lola.

SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs* Okay, you got me there.

Luan Loud: Yeah, enough Lanai ing around.

The five laughed at Luan's joke and glitter surround them, making them cough.

Lana Loud: Glitter? Could it be?

The five look at something completely horrific.

Lana Loud: Oh my...

The five stop in their tracks and jaws drop in shock once more, to see the house entirely painted pink.

SpongeBob SquarePants, Yellow Rectangle, Luan, Lucy and Lana Loud: LOLA!!!

Inside, glitter and streamers are everywhere and Lola princess car makes tracks on the walls, Lola walks to SpongeBob, Yellow and her siblings, who are enraged.

Lola Loud: Hey guys, how's the camping trip?

Luan Loud: Can you explain for this?!

Lola Loud: No worries, I clean the house. Mom and Dad won't know about it.

Patrick Star: Oh no, those two are in trouble, SpongeBob!

Screen cuts to Spider Computer Core Spaceship, dramatic music plays for SpongeBob Music: House of Horror [#10.05].

Leni Loud: *screams loudly* Help!

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: *evil laughs* You're too late, Lincoln and loud sister.

Lincoln Loud: *tries to move my arms but it can't* Aw man. I can't move because we're stuck with a green sticky oozed spider web.

Leni Loud: Me neither.

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: Green Ooze Spider Minions, make them tighter.

The Giant Green Ooze Spider: *roars at Lincoln and Leni*

Father (KND): That giant green ooze spider is about to climb.

Delightful Children from Down The Lane: Yes, Father.

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: *evil laughs*

The Green Ooze Spider Minions: *crawls to Lincoln and Leni*

Leni Loud: *shocked* OH NO LINCOLN, HE'S A VILLAIN! *screams loudly* AAAAAAHHHHHH!

Screen cuts to Mr. Krabs' house, As Patrick and Mr. Krabs continue to watch TV, they hear loud shrieks.

Mr. Krabs: WHAT IN THE NAME OF DAVY JONES IS THAT?!

Patrick Star: Oh that is just Lincoln and Leni! They always have to treat their mucous glands at this hour every night! You get used to it!

Mr. Krabs: But I never went through this before!

Patrick Star: Sweet! A newbie! Well enjoy then! *continues to watch my horror show and screams whenever zombies show up* Lincoln and Leni are kidnapped by The Giant Green Ooze Spider! *continues screaming*

Mr. Krabs tries to get through Patrick’s screams and Spongebob mucous shrieks.

A knock sounds at Mr. Krabs’ house. Pearl opens it and enters with loads of boy Anchovies. They accidentally knock Squidward to the floor while he was reading a TV Guide due to their big masses. Lori comes to Pearl.

Lori Loud: Pearl, what are you doing?!

Squidward Tentacles: Ugh! Ah! Pearl! I said invite 10 people! Not 1000!

Pearl Krabs: Another rule here at the Krabs household is to always multiply the rules by a 100! Simple math Squidward and Lori!

Squidward Tentacles and Lori Loud: What?!

Pearl Krabs: Now can you go down to the Root Beer Cellar and get my friends and I some cups of the drink. Mr. Krabs always makes sure we get our correct intake every night!

Lori Loud: What?!

Squidward Tentacles: Are you serious?!

Pearl Krabs: Very serious!

Lori Loud: Go ahead, tell Mr. Krabs, Squidward.

Squidward has to crawl his way through the hordes of Anchovies to get to the basement hatch.

Squidward Tentacles: I hate Mr. Krabs’ life!

Mr. Krabs: I hate Squidward’s life! *blocks my ears but finally unblocks when SpongeBob’s horrific shrieks finally end as does Patrick’s horror program.

Patrick Star: Man I love Dead Reckoning Jager Man Jensens!

Mr. Krabs: Good for you Pat, now can you go so I can get some sleep?

Patrick Star: I have to cook myself up some supper first! *proceeds to raid through Squidward’s cabinets*

Mr. Krabs: Oh woe is me!! *sulks to the floor as my nightmare continues*

Squidward and Lori finally arrive at the hatch pushing over any Anchovy they come across to see Lola. He proceeds down into the Root Beer Cellar.

Lori Loud: Squidward, do you hate root beer?

Squidward Tentacles: Ugh! Yeah! And I hate root beer! And this is the only available beverage here! *goes to fill up some cups for Pearl and her friends*

However when they arrive at the root beer tanks, he sees all of them sealed with locks and other covers.

Squidward Tentacles: This predicament is worse than my two idiot neighbors using my Stove while I’m sleeping!

Lola Loud: Good luck finding us, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: This predicament is worse than Pearl trying to steal me root beer!

Mr. Krabs then walks up to see Patrick trying to make some soup.

Mr. Krabs: Do ye even have the slightest clue how to make this?

Patrick Star: Yep! The Patrick Secret Formula! Watch! *gets out a roll of toilet paper and throws it into the pot as soon as the water begins to boil*

Mr. Krabs: Toilet paper?!

Patrick Star: Two ply toilet paper!

Patrick then dumps all of the capsules of imported spices Squidward has into the pots and adds a tub of cheese.

Patrick Star: Of Cheesy Goodness!

Patrick finally finishes his recipe by adding some Kelpa Cola into the pot.

Mr. Krabs: This is the definition of repulsive.

Patrick Star: I know! And it's wicked awesome!

Mr. Krabs: *sighs and continues to watch Patrick stir and cook his “meal”*

Squidward, Lori and Lola finally resurfaces upstairs managing to have gotten at least one tank open, the smallest one.

Lori Loud: Now with our remaining dignity! Squidward must hit the hay sack Pearl!

Pearl Krabs: Okay, good luck!

Lola Loud: *ascends the rope ladder to the second floor*

Pearl Krabs: You’ll need it!

Squidward Tentacles: We need nothing!

Lola Loud: Good idea!

Squidward Tentacles, Lori and Lola Loud: *enters Mr. Krabs’ bedroom*

Squidward Tentacles: *slams his bedroom door shut, then lays down on the hammock bed* The sooner this night of terror ends the better! *covers myself with the torn up sail of a blanket*

Before Squidward can snooze away, he feels itchy spots followed by more and more.

Lori Loud: *itches my arm* Ow, sea urchin!

Lola Loud: *itches my back*

Squidward Tentacles: Ugh! Why am I so itchy?!

Lola Loud: *sees a sea urchin in my hand* Ugh, look at this sea urchin!

Screen cuts to the sea urchin in Lola's hand close up then cuts back to Lola.

Lola Loud: Sea urchins, gross!

Squidward then lifts his blanket and much to his horror sees colony after colony of sea urchins everywhere. An infestation in which Mr. Krabs refuses to pay an exterminator to get rid of sea urchins.

Squidward Tentacles: AAHHHHHH!!! FOR THE LOVE ALL THINGS GOOD! NOOOOO!!!!! THAT’S IT, I AM OUT OF THIS PLACE OF INFAMY!

Lori Loud: ME TOO!

Lola Loud: ME THREE!

Squidward Tentacles, Lori and Lola Loud: *bolts out the window and hightails it through the landscape*

Patrick Star: *finishes cooking his meal and makes two plates, one for him and one for Mr. Krabs* Enjoy!

Mr. Krabs: *looks at my meal which is very soggy toilet paper, burnt cheese, non existent spices and the juices of a subpar cola* This looks worse than the specials of the Chum Bucket and Master Lox's Lair. Yeah! That’s a comparison! *takes a forkful of this abomination and after much hesitation*

As he tastes it and as expected, vomits.

Mr. Krabs: Ughh, ah no! UHH! AGHHHH! I’M GONNA KEEL OVER!

Patrick Star: What does keel over mean?

Mr. Krabs: *thinks about this horrible meal, Patrick’s prowler power and shrieking SpongeBob* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *bolts out the door, not taking it anymore*

SpongeBob SquarePants: *hears this and looks out my bedroom window* Mr. Krabs, wait! I’m sorry! Don’t go!! Barnacles! I will apologize in the morning. Poor guy. Well night I guess ay Gary?

Gary the Snail: Meow.

SpongeBob SquarePants: *shuts my window and goes to bed*

Slide transition to Yellow's house.

Yellow Rectangle: Ah, some peace and quiet.

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: Hello. *scares Yellow*

Yellow Rectangle: *screams* Grandpa Master Lox! What are you doing in my house!?

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: I'm gonna put you into a rocket. *puts Yellow a rocket*

Yellow Rectangle: What are you doing?! What are you doing?!

Bully #1: Time to say goodbye, loser!

Bully #2: Yeah!

The Bullies: *lits the rocket on fire and kicks Yellow out of his house*

The rocket flying up in the sky.

Yellow Rectangle: *screams*

The Bullies: *laughs* Goodbye, loser! *continues laughing*

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox and The Bullies: *leaves*

Yellow screams falling with whistling noise, then he gets hurt by the ground.

Yellow Rectangle: Ow, I can't believe it. They kicked me out of my house.

Later in the morning, SpongeBob is feeding Gary.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh Gary, I'm feeding you snail food.

Gary the Snail: Meow.

SpongeBob SquarePants: What's that, Gary?

Gary the Snail: Meow.

Leni Loud: *offscreen, screams* AAAAAAHHHHHH!

Lincoln Loud: *offscreen* HELP!

SpongeBob SquarePants: *hears Leni and Lincoln screaming* Oh no! I gotta go save them! *runs outside of my house*

Screen cuts to Leni's mouth screaming close up then cuts back to Lincoln and Leni.

Leni Loud: SPIDER! AAAAAAHHHHHH!

Lincoln and Leni Loud: *screams* AAAAAAHHHHHH!

The Giant Green Ooze Spider: *roars at Lincoln and Leni*

Lincoln and Leni Loud: *screams* AAAAAAHHHHHH!

Lincoln Loud: Leni, what are we gonna do?

Lincoln and Leni Loud: *sees SpongeBob*

Leni Loud: Look, Lincoln, it's SpongeBob!

SpongeBob SquarePants: *to Lincoln and Leni* That's right. I'm here to save you guys.

Lincoln Loud: Yeah, SpongeBob. We're very sorry because we've got this whole mess. Can you forgive me?

Leni Loud: And can you forgive me too?

SpongeBob SquarePants: Of course. I forgive you guys.

Leni Loud: We forgive you too, SpongeBob. We're friends now.

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: Looking good. *shocked, eyes wide open* SpongeBob!

SpongeBob SquarePants: Looking for me?

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: I am a villain. Now, I can destroy you face to face.

SpongeBob SquarePants: I gotta save Lincoln and Leni *runs*

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: *points to SpongeBob, to The Green Ooze Spider Minions* Get him!

The Green Ooze Spider Minions: *chases SpongeBob*

SpongeBob SquarePants: *goes upstairs* Phew!

Lily Loud: *cries*

SpongeBob SquarePants: Aw, it's okay, Lily. I'm here.

The Green Ooze Spider Minion: *makes Green Ooze slip*

SpongeBob SquarePants: Aw, barnacles! *slips on green ooze, screams* AAAAAHHHHHHHH! *keeps slipping, then gets electrocuted by Grandpa Master Lox with his hands*

SpongeBob is screaming and falling with whistling noise, then he crashes to the ground.

SpongeBob SquarePants: *riddled with guilt* Guys, he's too powerful.

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: *evil laughs* You lose, SpongeBob. Giant Green Ooze Spider, put him in a green sticky oozed spider web.

The Giant Green Ooze Spider: *puts SpongeBob a green sticky oozed spider web*

Patrick Star: Hey guys.

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: Gah! Giant Green Ooze Spider, that starfish, you moron. Put him in a green sticky oozed spider web as well.

The Giant Green Ooze Spider: *puts Patrick a green sticky oozed spider web as well*

SpongeBob SquarePants: *tries to move my arms but it can't* Barnacles. I can't move too.

Patrick Star: *tries to move my arms but it can't* Tartar sauce. I can't. We're stuck.

Lincoln Loud: Well, guys, this is the sad hero story.

Patrick Star: We're all doomed.

SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln Loud and Leni Loud: *cries*

Lily Loud: *crawls to SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni* Poo poo.

Leni Loud: Aw, Lily.

Lily Loud: *destroys green sticky oozed spider web to save SpongeBob, Patrick, Lincoln and Leni*

Leni Loud: Lily, you saved us.

Lily Loud: Spongy. Winkoln. *crawls, then presses “Self Destruct” button*

Patrick Star: But, how do we get outta here?

The fuse explodes in self destruct.

The Evil Grandpa Master Lox: Uh oh, that can't be good.

Leni Loud: *carries Lily*

SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *screams and runs*

The ground falls apart. Grandpa Master Lox is screaming and falling with whistling noise. The nuclear explosion destroys the Spider Computer Core Spaceship. Slide transition to the Loud House. Unfortunately, their parents are behind her, crossed arms and infuriated.

Rita Loud: But they did. You are in a lot of trouble, young lady.

Lynn Loud Sr.: You're grounded for the whole week! Plus, you'll be spending your whole week with Lori!

Lori Loud: *flabbergasted* WHAT? *livid* You little...

Lori then attacks Lola; Lincoln facepalms in anger.

Lincoln Loud: *to myself* Here we go again. *to my sisters* Let's leave before they make us clean the house.

Luan Loud: OK.

Lincoln grabs Lily and the six of them sneak out of the house and on the sidewalk.

Lincoln Loud: What do you do to those snakes and frogs?

Lana realizes she forgot about the snakes and frogs.

Lana Loud: Oh snap! I completely forgot about them!

Yellow Rectangle: Aw, bummers!

Squidward continues to run as does Mr. Krabs. Both then smack into each other by accident.

Squidward Tentacles: Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward!

Squidward Tentacles: I am so sorry for ever doubting you! Your life is tough! I can see why you are such a cheapskate now! It helps you cope!

Mr. Krabs: Your dance programs must be your relief hour! Cause, the boy, his starfish and his heroes are everything I had ever feared! Please take your life back!

Squidward Tentacles: Only if you take yours back!

Mr. Krabs: In a heartbeat!

Squidward Tentacles: Then it's done. Good night Mr. Krabs and make sure to withstand Pearl, her Anchovies and the colony of urchins!

Mr. Krabs: And good night to ye as well! Expect some abomination soup, an idiotic starfish and an idiotic 16 year old loud sister to await ye!

Squidward Tentacles and Mr. Krabs run off to their houses but then realize what awaits them, and are not fazed.

Squidward Tentacles and Mr. Krabs: It's good to go home!

Inside, Lola is scrubbing the walls and snakes then infestates the house once more, engulfing their house with frogs inside.

Lincoln Loud (with swimsuit): To the community pool?

SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Yellow, Red Rectangle, Leni, Luan, Lana and Lucy Loud (with swimsuits): Yes.

SpongeBob SquarePants (with swimsuit): This is fun.

Patrick Star (with swimsuit): Yeah.

Lily Loud (with swimsuit): Poo Poo.

Rita and Lynn Loud Sr.: LANA LOUD!

The heroes and six loud siblings frantically run from the house and to the community pool.

Squidward Tentacles: Once again, I hate the community pool.

* It says “THE END” Episode ends*