I Dare You Boat Smarts (Rewrite)/transcript

Previous Episode: Sidekick Buddies

Transcript
Episode Aired: July 28, 2001

Episode Copyrighted: 2000

This episode is rated TV-Y7, this is a short episode.

Narrator: "I Dare You Boat Smarts with Miss Daredevil". This driving film is brought to you by: C.O.T.C.U.T.K.S.B.S.P.A.L.L.O.T.R.A.O.O.C.A.T. Citizens Of The City United To Keep SpongeBob SquarePants And Lincoln Loud Off The Road And Out Of Cars All Together.

Little Miss Daredevil: Good day, future motorists. I'm Miss Daredevil, state accredited driving instructor. Today, we'll be discussing the differences between a driver with I dare you boat smarts.

Cuts to Squidward in a pilot uniform.

Squidward Tentacles: Ripping good day for a spot of driving.

Little Miss Daredevil: And drivers without I dare you boat smarts.

Cuts to SpongeBob sliding in on his head upside down, next to Squidward.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, Squidward! Look at what I can do with my feet!

Lincoln Loud: Cool!

SpongeBob SquarePants and Lincoln Loud: *wiggles our legs*

Squidward Tentacles: *gets angry*

Leni Loud: Calm down, Squidward.

Little Miss Daredevil: Let's see some examples, shall we? Tire Pressure.

Cuts to Squidward putting air in his tires.

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* Before you can even think about driving, the driver who uses I dare you boat smarts always fills his tires to the appropriate level.

Cuts to SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni pumping too much air in their tires.

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* While these drivers pay no need, I dare you boat smarts.

Tires flips the boat over. Then the tire explodes and blows air into Squidward's face.

Mr. Bump: *tries to lift his boat* Aw, pooty poop.

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* Buckling Up.

Cut to Squidward putting on his safety belt.

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* As demonstrated by this driver, he has enough I dare you boat smarts to use his seat belt and avoid a serious casualty as a result of a collision.

Squidward Tentacles: *drives off but stops slowly at a stop light*

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* Notice how he comes gently to a stop sign.

Cuts to SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni driving their boat through town destructively without wearing his seat belt and laughing.

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* Now these drivers, with no regard for safety.

Squidward Tentacles: *screams*

SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni slam into the backend of Squidward's car, sending him flying into the air still in his seat and buckled up with the steering wheel in his hand.

Squidward Tentacles: *screams more*

Squidward sees a spiky steamroller driving on the road he is flying into.

Squidward Tentacles: *tries to get my seat belt off but squeezes through the spikes anyways*

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* Well, at least he had his seat belt on.

Squidward Tentacles: *screams again*

The boat, now cut in half, comes out of the steamroller and in it is Squidward, all injured. His seatbelt pops off.

Little Miss Whoops: Whoops! I destroyed Squidward's car!

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* Adjusting Your Mirrors. What's our drivers license drivers up to now?

Squidward is adjusting his mirrors.

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* You guessed it. He's adjusting his mirror before he begins driving, unlike this degenerate driver.

Beeping sound is heard. SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni are running over citizens while they are adjusting their mirrors.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Ah, perfect. *moves from behind Squidward in the road and drives in front of him*

Leni Loud: You did it, SpongeBob!

Lincoln Loud: That was incredible!

Squidward Tentacles: Hey, use your mirrors, fool!

Lincoln Loud: Mirrors? Oh, that reminds me. We haven't adjusted this one yet.

SpongeBob SquarePants, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *adjusts it to where the light in the reflection blinds Squidward*

Squidward Tentacles: Ah! Can't see! D'oh! *puts on sunglasses and giggles*

Little Miss Scary: *scares Squidward* I scared ya!

Squidward Tentacles: *screams, then crashes into a brick wall.

Footage from live-action Japanese Crash test dummy is showing with Squidward's head replacing the Japanese dummy's head.

Squidward Tentacles: *slides out of my seat* Ow.

Little Miss Daredevil: Finally, and most importantly, a driver with I dare you boat smarts always pays attention to his surroundings and avoids distractions.

Mr. Quiet: Oh!

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* Notice how this driver's eyes are locked firmly on the road.

Squidward's eyes turn into a lock but vision the road as well.

Cuts to SpongeBob eating a Krabby Patty and reading the newspaper while driving with Lincoln and Leni.

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* And here we have the epitome of a driver who is carelessly distracting themselves from the road and safety.

SpongeBob is shaving himself while driving the wrong way on a one way street. Tom is shaking his fist, Norma looks at SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni and Fred shaking his fist in the air. They cause a woman to crash into a streetlight pole.

Norma Rechid: *screams* Jerk!

SpongeBob SquarePants: Hi there!

Leni Loud: Hey guys!

Nat Peterson: Help! Lunatic driver! *crashes my boat into SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni's*

SpongeBob's boat is unharmed and keeps driving.

Lincoln Loud: How's it going?

SpongeBob SquarePants, Lincoln and Leni Loud: *causes many drivers to flip their cars over and get in accidents*

Citizens: *all screams and talks at once* I can't feel my hair. My leg!

Little Miss Daredevil: *narrates* Lincoln, I mean, drivers without I dare you boat smarts shows contempt for their boater brethren and the law.

SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni's car slips in some water and spins around and around.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Lalalalalalalalala! Whee!

Their boat is driving backwards now*

SpongeBob SquarePants: Hi, Squidward. Hi, Mrs. Puff.

Squidward Tentacles and Mrs. Puff: *screams*

SpongeBob, Lincoln and Leni's car stops on a rock and tilts upward, causing Squidward and Mrs. Puff's boat to fly up into the air then into the pile of boat mobiles that are in the accident. Mrs. Puff blows up to a big puffer fish.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Looks like you guys forgot your boat smarts!

Lincoln Loud: You guys lose!

SpongeBob SquarePants: *laughs and drives off*

Little Miss Daredevil: Until next time with "I Dare You Boat Smarts". I dare you! *drives off, making dust and the low quality video recorder stops*

Mrs. Puff: *coughs*

* It says “THE END” Episode ends*